1. Турист спрашивает шотландца:
— Excuse me, why do you call your skirt "a kilt"?
— AAARGH!! Cauze helluva people got killt for calling it "skirt"!!

2. On memorial day an old fighter ace is invited to a kindergarten. Kids ask him how many planes he shot down. He says: — Well, one day during the Battle of Britain saw a bunch of fockers in the skies. The first foсker came at me out of the sun, but I out maneuvered him and blasted him down. A second foсker came at me from below, but I looped behind him and gunned the foсker down as well. A third foсker saw this and tried to retreat into the clouds, but… The teacher jumps in: — Children, before the story continues, you have to learn that Focker is the type of plane German air force used to fly during World War II. Pilot: — Yeah, that’s right. But them particular fockers were flying Messerschmitts.

3. Третий из комментариев:

-Why do you call your software "beta"?
-'coz it's beta than nothing.